Well here we are again. I'll tell you a little bit about us.
Shirley and I were married on the 19th. August 1972 in Exmouth, Devon, England,
and shortly afterwards moved to Tavistock on the edge of Dartmoor. I was working for
Ambrosia, who make rice pudding, as a process development technologist.
Shirley had been trained as a nurse, which she had to give up with the birth of our two boys.
In 1987 we both decided that it was time for a complete change. But to do what?
In the end, with the boys being older, we decided to buy a Post Office and shop.
In the U.K. most of the post office net-work is privately owned, with the Postmaster
being an agent for the Post office. Needless to say we don't get paid a wage, but are paid on commission.
The smaller the office the lower the commission. But that's another story.
The post office is situated near to Wakefield in West Yorkshire.
Over a hundred years ago a famous person lived in our house.
Shirley and I are both Christians and are very much involved in our local church. In 2017 the church changed it's name to Vision Church. same church but different name.
My hobby is cultivating cacti, collecting stamps and compiling my family tree, and Shirley enjoys going for long walks and embroidery.
Sadly, Penny, our Xbreed dog, has now died. She was 12 years old and had been very poorly for several months and then on the Sunday after Christmas, 2000, she went off and that was the last time we saw her. The year before, Twitch our rabbit did the same thing. She had escaped from our garden and we thought that we had lost her. Then we heard that a couple in the village had found a rabbit on the cricket ground and had taken her in. They brought her back to us, but she seemed poorly. Two days later she died. Penny loved everybody that was asked into the house, but you had to beware if you hadn't been invited. Twitch even when she was 12 years old was the boss in our back garden, chasing Penny or any bird careless enough to land too close.
A regular visitor to our house was Simon from next door. He was 12 years old. he is now in his twenties and still lives with his dad.
While his dad was at work we looked after him. Even at the weekends
he seems to spend a lot of time with us. We don't mind though as he's a good lad.
After about 10 years of working such long hours and for what we considered a pittance, we decided to put the property and business on the market, but not with any success. Then on 2nd. March 2001, I suffered a brain haemorrhage and was off work for 6 months. (Please read my full account). I did go back to work again, for a year.
During the year that I had been back at work, I realised that my doctor was right and that I shouldn't have gone back to work. I found that I couldn't really cope, and got stressed out too easily. The answer was to sell up and move. As the business had been on the market for several years with no interest, we decided the way forward was to close down the business and sell the property as a domestic house. We closed down the post office and shop on 2nd. August 2002, and at the moment I am out of work. We finally said good-bye to the post office and Horbury Bridge and moved into our new house in Horbury, on 4th. October 2002. I have been put on Incapacity Benefit for the next 5 years. So although finances are tight, I do have some money coming in. During early 2003, Shirley suffered appendicitis. After much pain, she finally had her appendix removed - just in time they said. She now has arthritis which hinders her walking and now has to walk with a walking stick. In 2014 I developed cellulitus in my right leg; I think it was from an insect bite. Every few months it flares up giving me a swollen and bright red leg. So I have to go on a course of antibiotics meaning injections through a cannula for a week and then two to three weeks of strong antibiotic tablets.
Shirley got a call to go to hospital for a replacement of her left knee. Lisa took us to Pontefract hospital on the 26th of January 2022 for surgery, and she came home on 1st of February. I put up a single bed in the lounge in the replacement of the sofa ( we put the sofa into the conservatory). I think Shirley did too much too soon after her surgery. As she fell several times. I took her to our medical centre for removal of her staples from her surgery – 50!! Thurstan and Lisa were talking to the council about putting up handrails along the 3 steps from the house down to the pavement. They weren’t too interested so we paid for them ourselves. We were asked to do a covid test before we go to church meetings. On the 20th we both tested positive. Shirley was not too well. Thurstan and Lisa saw her and decided to ring for an ambulance; so she was taken into hospital. Two days later she was discharged provided I increase the height of the chair seat. Unfortunately she was sent home with the cannula still in her arm. The district nurse removed it on the next day. Shirley fell outside and she was taken into A & E. She was tested positive and was kept in hospital for a few days and was discharged. It was quite difficult caring for Shirley in the lounge so we decided to buy a stairlift to get her upstairs. On the 14th it was installed and it has made a tremendous improvement to Shirley’s life. We put our single bed back up stairs. I got a quote for a new bathroom, which could be done towards the end of June. I tried to order an Orcam text to speech and a magnifier, but my bank wouldn’t allow me saying it was fraudulent. I went to SCS and ordered a 3 piece suite; 2 luxury-lift power recliner chairs and a 3 seater sofa.
We got a new quote for the bathroom as Shirley really can’t walk, so she needs a wheelchair access to the shower meaning we have to have a wet room. ‘My Therapy’ people recommended that Shirley sleep down stairs so they ordered a single bed which arrived the next day. Shirley tried it but didn't like it so we went back to sleeping upstairs. They gave her more exercises, and another wheeled commode for upstairs. My Therapy installed a key box by the side door and we joined CareLink. Shirley has call bracelet and if she falls she can call for help. We have used it several times. Its a good system although it costs us £41 a month. We had our spring and autumn covid jabs. The doctor doubled up Shirley’s pain tablets, she’s now on 8 co-codamol tablets a day. June was a busy month: had the hospital bed removed, had our 3 piece suite removed and the bathroom stuff arrived and was stored in the conservatory, the new 3 piece suite was delivered and installed; much bigger than I thought but good. Lisa and I organised the party for our 50 years Golden Wedding in the Bull’s Head in Horbury. On the 19th August we celebrated our Golden Wedding anniversary, but getting everybody together was difficult, so we waited till Saturday 3rd September. It was a good evening with the whole family, neighbours and friends and church friends. At the end of August the bathroom was finished and the 1st shower was difficult. Unfortunately Shirley fell and was taken to A & E and she had broken a bone on her right wrist and so had a pot put on. She couldn’t use the shower till beginning of November so it had to be strip washes on the commode. Because Shirley can’t walk we have difficulty in getting her into the car when needed so we have to rely on Paul to help me to carry Shirley down the 3 steps down to the road. I have spoken to our fence man, he did a good job of replacing the broken fences last year, for him to make a sloping path through the front garden to the road. Hoping I can push and pull Shirley into and out of the house by myself. He made a good job, and I can push her up.
I have to say thanks to our family and friends for the help that we’ve been given since January. Lisa, Lucy, Freda and Sharon for many dinners they have given us; to Paul and Lisa for help with getting Shirley to the car and pushing her at the hospitals; to Freda for ironing my shirts: and to Thurstan for picking up Shirley when she fell before we went on CareLink.
On 20 April Shirley fell. CareLink got her up and asked if She was OK. Shirley said that she had bumped her head. They called for a doctor who was more interested with her bruises to her left hip. He said best to go to A & E. I rang Paul to help. He came over and we went to A & E. We went through triage at 2.45pm and saw a doctor at 6.45pm. He sent her for an Xray at 8 pm, but couldn't find a trolley. She went in at 10pm and came out at 11pm. At midnight the doctor said she was OK but wanted her to stay in hospital aver night. The only bed was in Dewsbury Hospital. There was a mix up of information, Dewsbury thought that she was walking at home so was concerned why she wasn't walking in the hospital. So They couldn't do anything for her but they kept her in. Unfortunately she got a bladder infection which stopped her being sent to a respite care home, but then she came down with covid. She was sent to an isolation ward. After 12 days, on 03 June 2023 she was sent to Chestnuts Care Home in Altofts. She was returned home on 18 July 2023. We moved the settee into the conservatory. We had to put a hospital bed into the lounge. Shirley has carers coming in four times a day. Unfortunately Shirley can't walk or sit up. Her legs are locked in and are very painful when moved and also her arms. When she came home from Chestnuts she had very bad bed sores.
Her condition got worse and the district nurses with my permission sent her to Ashby Lodge respite home, so that they could turn her over every two hours day and night. Shirley was so poorly that they put her on an end of life regime. Sadly on the 18th December I got a phone call at 7 pm to say that she had passed away. She was with Jesus. I got the home to tell Thurstan and John the news. Because of the holidays I had difficulty in getting her Death Certificate. Her funeral was held on the 9th of January 2024 at Wakefield Crematorium. Our pastor, Ian Nundy, led the service. It was a gentle loving Eulogy of Shirley's life. Afterwards we all went to Horbury Working Members Club for lunch. We left at 6.30 pm. It was good to see friends from years ago but in a sad time.
I have lost my beautiful wife of 51 years.
